Hi. I’m sitting at a bar with a glass of red wine waiting for my flight to board at 10:20 pm. There’s been a lot going on lately, feels nice to sit here and talk to you. I remember the days when I used to wake up at 6:00 am to blog before heading to work. Coffee in my bed, me and my computer in my little apartment in Greenwich Village. It was my time to dream about what I am doing now. That was about 12-13 years ago now. Wildddd. I built this website from that bed, launched collections. Everything and anything felt possible, but my reality was so different from the dreams in my head. The gap has closed, but now I just have new dreams and higher expectations for myself.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Self Worth lately. What that truly means to me and how I apply it to my everyday life. I used to think my definition of that was mine and true to me until life started to put me in situations where my “self worth” was tested. We use the word boundaries lately like it is trending. Set your boundaries Candice, know your worth, you don’t see you like I see you. But what does that even mean? Are “boundaries” and “self worth” just big words that we find on our Pinterest boards in quotes that tell us how we should and should not be. What we should tolerate and not tolerate. Like, who made up these rules! Why are we not thinking for ourselves?
Something happened to me last week that completely changed the way I see and perceive myself. I feel like I need to share it because maybe it will save you from the overthinking I went through to get here. I was walking with a coffee looking up at the Los Angeles blue sky and palm trees when I realized all of my decisions some good some bad have lead me here. All of those decisions I made myself. If I can get myself to this place, I can do anything. In that moment I fully understood what trusting myself really felt like. It doesn’t matter what anyone tells you, if you trust yourself you are unstoppable. If you fully trust yourself you know your self worth. The power will always remain with you, even if you make mistakes. Because those mistakes could have been made in your moments of let me just try this and see what happens. And if the result was not what you thought or expected - as long as you find your centre again and do different the next time, well I just think that’s the most badass way to live your life. What if these “boundaries” and “self worth” definitions are actually stopping us from taking those chances. That’s not growth, that’s fear disguised as following a made up value. Trust. Trusting that you will show up for yourself and trusting that you will make the right decisions for yourself will allow you to fully see yourself so you don’t put that on anyone else to fully see you. You’ll be too real and honest that you will only radiate honesty and realness in return. Your entire external life will shift. Anyways, just my thoughts. K boarding time, xx C
