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I was sitting alone at Hotel de Crillon in Paris on the eve of my birthday. I don’t really love celebrating my birthday with a lot of people. Birthdays have always felt heavy. A heaviness I want to be alone to process. Or maybe this is a product of me being alone often. I have fallen in love with eating dinner by myself. Lol, maybe I should stop being such a loner - but I love it here. From Jan to now, life felt like it was moving at lightening speed. From personal to work, the universe was serving its lessons to keep up with the growth. Felt like one lesson after the other. I handled them, but sometimes they threw me. I ask a lot of my life. I wanted friendships that felt like family, friendships that are loyal, not jealous and fun. Friends who lift me up and pour into me as much as I pour into them. I asked to live out my dreams - which comes with a heavy level of commitment and dedication. I love what I do and I am thankful to be able to do it. I asked for evolution of self, to meet my highest self. To walk in my purpose. I asked for my true love. My little unit I can call my own. My partner, my best friend. Still waiting on this (wink)…
Because I ask for a lot, I will be given a lot and not all of it is good. I have had my self worth tested this year. Those moments hurt and threw me off my centre. But now I understand they were just shaking me to open my eyes and see it for what it was. Everything is always working for my greatest good. Nothing is a personal attack, and sadly in all of those situations it was the other person blaming me for their shit that had nothing to do with me. Do not dim your light for anyone, get to know yourself so well - even all the bad stuff you don’t want to look at. If you don’t people will try to tell you what you are , who you are and what you are not. If you’re not strong enough, you’ll believe them. On the other hand, I was also introduced to wonderful humans I call family. Friends who have opened their homes, heart and their time. I am the luckiest girl in the world.
I am sitting in the studio writing this, A little hungover from Beyonce’s concert last night, feeling immensely grateful for all of it. I spent two weeks in the South of France with friends who I have been lucky to meet on my journey.
K, just saying hi :) I hope you’re enjoying this beautiful summer energy. Feels like a fresh beginning. And I’m walking into this new door with my head high.
