// THE DREAM I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR

//

Jan, Feb have been rough. Anyone else feel like they have been swimming through a murky swamp? I am ready for some crystal-clear waters. There have been a lot of changes for CKD and I lately. I consider this a fresh iteration of myself, a version I'm eager to discover and share with the world. On the personal side, I’ve been working on clearing out anything that doesn’t serve me. By creating space, I'm inviting new opportunities to flow in and propel me to greater heights. You want different? You have to move differently. If we desire change, we must be willing to adapt our approach.

On the professional side, I have been revisiting what makes CK “CKD”. I’ve been reconnecting with the girl I was 10 years ago who moved to New York with a dream and unwavering faith. That version of myself was pure magic, and because she believed in magic, life unfolded like a serendipitous movie. Everyone around me saw it. Chance encounters led to conversations that propelled me forward. It wasn't just about belief; it was a deep-rooted knowing—a certainty about where I was headed, and what I desired. And in that knowing, I felt the universe aligning itself in my favor. After all, our reality mirrors our beliefs.
The pressures of building over the past five years have gradually dimmed that magic, and it's something I've only just realized. Day by day, the spark dwindled. I found myself listening to the opinions of others, their voices dictating how I should or shouldn't live my life. It's a stark departure from my former self, who never paid attention to the opinions of others.

This month, however, I've come to a realization: the magic I thought I'd lost was never truly gone—it just shifted its place. A decade ago, my anchor was firmly in my dream, unwavering in whatever it took to ‘get there’. Whenever doubts arose, I'd refocus on that dream, propelling myself forward.

Yet, I've come to understand that pinning your anchor solely to a dream is both immature and risky. Dreams evolve, change shape, and transform—it's a beautiful journey of evolution. As I write this from LA—yes, LA!—a place I never envisioned myself, having always imagined either New York City or Paris, I've realized that the destination matters less than knowing who I am and anchoring myself in that. It's about establishing a sturdy foundation in me, regardless of where life leads or how CKD transforms.

I was on my walk when I realized this. I stopped and for the first time in a long time I felt the magic again—faith, love, gratitude, hope—all flooding in at once. It was waiting for me, in me as me. Not some far off dream. I realized I am the dream, and I have been simply waiting for me this whole time.